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In New York or elsewhere, a date can so often be a setup for failure we are typically sitting down with a relative stranger working feverishly to put forward our most attractive, intelligent self, while at the same time scoping out the other person to see if they might be a fit…and to boot, we’re supposed to look casual and relaxed while doing it! For many of us, this is a recipe to get stuck in our head, to feel nervous or frustrated, or to “check out.” Just because you are introverted, it doesn’t mean that you can’t date and find that special someone.Nearly ever gay man in New York has had the thought that “everyone has a boyfriend but me! What’s wrong with me?” The truth is, of course, that there’s likely nothing wrong with you, but there is a lot wrong with how people date in NYC. For instance, instead of going to a crowded gay bar, consider going to a museum or some sort of exhibition where it’s a bit quieter and you are not supposed to talk much. What is more, a lot of introverts despise small talk so don’t be afraid to ask thought-provoking questions.Ĭhoose a place or activity that will resonate with youįinally, when deciding what you will do or where you will go, pick a place that suits your sensibilities. By asking open-ended questions, you are allowing the discussion to flow naturally. The latter can result in awkward pauses in the conversation. For example, ask open-ended questions instead of yes or no questions. In addition to listening, you should also be asking questions to show that you want to know more about the person you are on a date with. Don’t be afraid to ask thought-provoking questions You will show that you are interested in what they have to say and that will make you much more attractive. Most people like being validated and listening to what they have to say is a great way to accomplish that. If you are a good listener, use this skill to your advantage. Use your listening skills to your advantage Instead, try a power pose, such as putting your hands on your hips, as that can release chemicals related to confidence. If you keep your hands in your pockets or you’re slouching, not only will your brain release anxiety-related hormones and make you stressed out but your date might also think that you are not interested. Regardless of whether you disclose your shyness or not, you have to be mindful of your body language. However, do make an effort to be engaged in conversation. This will make it a lot easier for both of you. Seeing as how introverted and shy people often unintentionally come across as cold and uninterested, you should be upfront about your shyness from the first date. By getting to know their clients and what they are looking for, these companies bring together people who are looking for a long, monogamous relationship. Alternatively, you can turn to gay matchmaking services who could find a potential match for you. What is more, texting for a while might make the face-to-face meeting a lot easier. While many use Tinder and HER as a way to find a quick hookup, if you accurately represent yourself in the bio section, what’s to say that you can’t find a meaningful connection there? You can even use gay online dating sites to find someone who understands you for you. However, that should not stop you as there are various ways to meet someone.
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If you’re not a person that frequents gay clubs or someone that would just walk up to a cute person and get their number, it can be hard to meet someone. On the other hand, dating an extrovert might be better if you prefer outgoing people who are fine with doing all the socializing.
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On the one hand, maybe you’d have more in common with an introverted person as they will already understand where you are coming from. Sure, dark-haired or blond and skinny or curvy can play a big role, but we’re talking about figuring out whether you want an introverted or extroverted person.
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Know your typeīefore you put yourself out there, you should know your type. So, what is a gay introvert supposed to do? Keep on reading for some dating tips. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be shy, which is a trait often mistakenly attributed to all introverted people, you can still feel overwhelmed with the dating scene. Dating is not easy for everyone but if you’re an introvert, it might be even harder for you to get out there and meet someone.